Beetersweet (Groan)
by ProLazy
Summary: Prompt: Castiel watches 'The Bee Movie' and is offended. Dean and Sam try to be sympathetic and end up overdosing on honey. Pure unadulterated crack.


"Dean, what is a _meme_?" Castiel asked.

The hunter looked up from his laptop and blinked vacantly at the angel.

"He doesn't know, Cas" Sam said with an amused huff. He was sat at the other end of the table on his own computer. "Unless it's to do with porn there is little Dean understands about the internet, yet someone he can hack security cameras."

"I do too know!" Dean responded defensively. "It…sounds French" he pondered. "It's probably a type of cheese" he shrugged.

"Not even close-"

"Shut up, Sam! Maybe I just don't know because I have much more important stuff stored up in here" Dean claimed as he tapped a finger against his temple. "Stuff that could save the world."

"You mean like Doctor Sexy's shoe size?"

"Everything about that man is important-"

"Excuse me!" Castiel interrupted the brother's bickering. "Not that I don't wish to hear about how much my husband obsesses over another man," Dean immediately sunk down in his chair and looked sheepish, "would someone just please explain what a meme is?"

"They're sort of like trends and inside jokes that get spread across social media" Sam offered. "They're supposed to be funny but sometimes they just get annoying and out of hand."

"Why'd you ask?" Dean enquired.

"Well I watched a film yesterday called _The Bee Movie_ because I thought it would be some kind of documentary about bees. I was very wrong."

"Oh, no" Sam grimaced. "I've heard of that. It's like one of the worst movies ever made."

"It was very insulting to the intellect of bees" Castiel pouted. "Anyway I went online to voice my concern about the representation of bees and tell people that they shouldn't be discouraged from saving them, but all I keep seeing is these memes about the movie."

"Wow, is all this stuff true?" Dean said as he looked up what Cas had been talking about. "A lady falls in love with a _bee?_ That's super weird, man."

"Dean, _we_ are in an interspecies relationship" Castiel reminded him flatly.

Dean's eyes widened and his cheeks started to go red. "Well…yeah, b-but…I-I mean…you're not like a thousand times smaller than me."

"No, my true form is approximately a thousand times _bigger_ than you."

"I know, but…you don't look like that now" Dean argued gingerly. "You look human…or do I look like an angel?"

"No, you only have one face" Castiel replied.

"Wait, what?" Dean said with shock.

Castiel shrugged.

"I hate that I can't tell if he's being serious anymore" Sam said to his brother.

"Wait, can I just start again" Dean said waving his hands dismissively. "What I _meant_ to say was…I love you?" he said guiltily.

"I know" Castiel smirked. "See that was a _Star Wars_ reference" he added smugly.

"It sure was, baby" Dean chuckled.

"To be fair some of these are pretty hilarious" Sam grinned as he searched the memes for himself.

"Well I find it all demoralizing for the real bees" Castiel said with a concerned frown. "They work so hard; they don't deserve to be mocked like this."

"I'm sure people won't think any less of real bees, sweetheart" Dean said as he rubbed a comforting hand up and down Castiel's arm. Normally Dean might tease his husband for having such unfounded concerns, but he could see that the angel was genuinely upset. "It's just a silly kids' movie."

"I hope you're right" Castiel sighed. "But it's also very degrading for those poor children's' minds too. I mean the bee puns alone were just awful."

"I think Dean and I need to see it" Sam said. "I'm intrigued by how bad it sounds."

"I warn you now that you will suffer" Castiel stated. "I don't know if I can bear to sit through it again."

"Well, how about we have some fun with it?" Dean proposed. "Here, this guy suggests eating a spoonful of honey every time they say the word bee. Sorta like a drinking game."

"I think I'd rather do shots" Sam huffed.

"Hmm…it would a perfect excuse to open my jar of good honey" Castiel mused. "Let's do it."

He got up and headed off towards the kitchen.

"We are gunna regret this" Sam claimed.

"Only 'cause you're gunna give up first" Dean taunted.

"Oh really?" Sam said as he raised his eyebrow. "You wanna make it like that?"

"Yeah. Twenty bucks says that honey gets too sweet for you."

"You're on."

Castiel returned with a big jar of honey and three spoons.

"Let's get this over with."

* * *

 _ **91 Mind Numbing Minutes Later…**_

"I don't feel so good" Dean complained as he rested his head on Castiel's shoulder and started rubbing soothing circles on his stomach. "How far did we make it?"

"About thirty" Castiel responded.

"And how many times total did they say bee?" Dean asked.

"A hundred seventy two."

"What?!" Dean exclaimed with outrage.

"I think I lost some brain cells" Sam complained; he was now laid on his back on the floor. "And I'm never having honey on pancakes ever again."

"I still think it's good" Castiel spoke around the spoon he was licking. "It's the only thing I can still really taste for some reason."

"Can we find a hunt?" Dean asked. "I actually feel like I _need_ to kill something."

"If that's what you want, my love" Castiel said as he reached around under Dean's chin to pat the side of his head sympathetically.

"Dean, I was so wrong" Sam said as he stared at the ceiling. "That made Doctor Sexy look like Shakespeare."

"Ooh, we should watch the new episode."

Sam and Castiel groaned.

Dean pouted.

"What?"


End file.
